exhausted, just venting my feelings (warning: profanity/curse words)

[mikal haley]

the challenges in facing fascism...tiring. sometimes when i feel sick to my stomach i drink a lot of milk because i am lactose intolerant and then i wait. after awhile it just comes out like a flood. today, about ten minutes ago i gave such a shit i feel lightheaded now, i feel like i lost about ten pounds in one sitting. ugh. i have to face fascism. ron angell knows as do many others that fascism, nazis, the KKK, evil in general RULES Boulder colorado with smirks, snide comments and institutionalized torture. Like Margaret Cho: I HAVE CHOSEN TO STAY AND FIGHT. i'm exhausted all the time. I basically live in the gutter, having not yet found a place to live i can afford. i'm not giving up, just making friends with reality. in the library, the smug and evil people, like nazi robots. hellish. pushing their invasive perverted thoughts out so i can get things done. signs show in little ways. i don't spend every single minute i spend online doing anti MC activism, but when i get down to it he 'bots start getting paranoid. they make weird noises and they are obviously so fucking mind controlled -- it's almost FUNNY -- except it's a global tragedy going on right now. so called "mental health workers" are up to their fucking eyebrows in this scam. i get so sad watching people who are clearly totally distracted, off their feet, mentally ill. "Do you hear voices?" They smile when they ask. mental health workers -- obviously - are some of the most robotic of robotic co-conspirators. it's absolutely disgusting... i have noticed one of the symptoms -- no matter when i start talking about things -- this topic no matter how much coffee i have had to drink or how good a night's sleep i have had i start writing about the details of this and i start getting ARTIFICIALLY sleepy. it's happening now. I wasn't sleepy five minutes ago. this situation HAS to be one of the worst things that has ever fucking happened. -- i really felt in the 1990s like peace was going to be possible. i psychically FELT the energy of the damn weapons getting stronger. i am sure that the HAARP as well as the HIPAS have been "powered up" a great deal since 1992 everything feels psychically different -- and one thing that sticks in my memory from the 1990s is that i knew two geeks from pennsylvania -- i am not worried about the fucking nerds anymore they both had degrees in brainscience -- one a doctorate in neuroscience, one a degree in neuroanatomy. they never did one fucking THING to help people with actual neurological sicknesses. my former lover who went away to iraq and came back a fucking android. she's so beautiful. no talking to her now. brain fucking shut down. my best friend who came back from kossovo pretty much the same way. i was learning more and more about this shit. i have completely stopped eating food out of the microwave. i have to be careful because i have noticed sometimes people are SNEAKY and then pushy about food out of the microwave. - once there was a startrek episode. everyone on the ship was hypnotized by a video game except for Wesley. "Play the game, Wesley." even his mother. there is NO WAY i am eating -- i avoid microwaved food as much as possible. if you are for real about this i suggest the same to you. do your own research, but microwaves are how HAARP as well as cellular technology function. it's way fucking bad. i don't apologize for the foul language i used discussing this. when people are brainwashed around me, it's FUCKING OBVIOUS AS HELL. it wasn't like this in the 1990s..people had more free will and used it. i can see the difference. i don't have any hate for the people all around me whose heads are full of synthetic telepathy. i know that they are fucking brainwashed -- still, it makes me sad. my hate i reserve for fucking Cheney, Rumsfeld, Bush -- and it really blows my mind how people have just FORGOTTEN, MAGICALLY about the GOP ass holes who made life hell for eight years, dropping depleted uranium on children in iraq and wasting American tax dollars -- stealing, murdering AND LAUGHING AT US. ------------------------------ a few weeks ago the library where i usually access announced that it was forcing all who would access the computers to get a pass card -- an I. D. almost anyone who was NOT American would recognize exactly the same pattern as Apartheid in South Africa -- ESPECIALLY if they spent a little time on the "reservations" - another word for the concentration camps that indigeonous americans must live in. I am afraid for Barack Obama and his wife because i know GWB and his "team" are still evil and dangerous. I am sure that Michelle has recieved threatening lectures on what she is not allowed to say now that they are elected. (Prove me wrong! I have studied Richard B. Cheney's psych profile. he's a powerhungry brutal sadist. Now i cannot use the good computers at the Republican Library. I am forced to wander into the local campus to look for computers to use. That's no challenge. the fascism of the SET HATRED that many Whites here in the American southwest hold for the natives (which I am more than a little bit) -- it's such an amazing combination of Evil and Stupidity that sometimes i LAUGH -- even though it's atrocity -- true human evil unfolding and unfolding all around me. The Natives of America are still getting WORSE than European Jewry got in Germany from Hitler. And for the same stupid evil reasons -- Hitler lied and said he was a Christan too. The soup kitchen where I volunteer -- when they LET me because I do good work and it SHAMES them -- it's right next to a church. That doesn't stop it from being a place where institutionalized racism is FORCED on the natives -- and the poor -- and everyone else -- while they LAUGH and crack JOKES like it's fucking MASH. i am purely disgusted. thank you for reading this. This psychofascist madness MUST be overcome.

[mikal haley]

loud and clear, thanx

;)

[SheriGrutz]

Two things happen to the mind control program over us: Our brains are highly sensitive to our surroundings, AND, the aura we give off as targets feeds onto other people. This explains why people cough in my face, blow smoke in my face, scowl at me, and other things, and I do believe it can explain the way you are feeling Mikal. My suggestion is to lower the acknowledgement by not facing anyone head on, and surrounding yourself with people who love you, including listening to an ipod or headphones with music that makes you feel good.