Pain

I have been a victim of Electronic Harassment for close to 4 years and I am really interested in finding out if others out there have extreme symptoms of physical pain that cannot be diagnosed by doctors or specialists, that have evolved over time to become immobilizing for as long as 10 hours straight. I suffer these attacks frequently and I live in constant fear of being hit at any moment by the next one.  The emergency room staff treated me like I was drug seeking and basically made it known they did not believe my symptoms were real.  It was mortifying! I was isolated alone in an area away from all other patients, totally ignored by all nurses and doctors for about 8 hours, and occasionally looked after only to be admonished and told I was cruel for putting my family through such theatrics just because of drugs.  They even convinced my parents I was using drugs and now my parents have no sympathy when I am brutally attacked by whatever microwave energy weapons cause my discomfort, so now not only do I have to endure the pain for 10 hours, I have to leave my house and hide out in the mountains in my car alone someplace until it passes so I don't upset my mom by making her believe I am detoxing or high on meth. This is a perfect crime being perpetrated against me because there's no evidence of anything medical happening that doctor's will diagnose,  so you are seen as faking symptoms for attention or drugs, threatened to be sent for a psych evaluation in the mental ward, and if you're not careful, admitted against your will and over-medicated  until you are actually mentally ill. I live in perpetual terror of my next attack, and honestly am not certain I have what it takes to endure many more, I'm losing the battle and will to fight at this juncture.  I always consider the most reasonable way to end it all when I'm stuck for entire days thrashing and rocking and drooling and moaning and panicked because if it just never ends one of these episodes, I'll be institutionalized indefinitely because I simply can't function while experiencing the awful pain, it's impossible.  I'd have to be drugged with anesthetic type medication used during surgeries to put people to sleep in order to calm down enough for actually rest, otherwise I'd be stuck awake for weeks, unable to move around or eat or deink either.  If they permanently immobilize me, my entire life is over, done. They can do that anytime, so what's stopping them ? They cannot be arrested or even detected, and so it's not fear stopping them. Is it out of mercy or the kindness of their heart's? Lol, ya right! They love to see me suffer uncontrollably! It's literally only a matter of time now and on the day they decide not to reduce the pain once it's full blown, is the day I take a lethal dose of heroin.  It's my solution should I face a life spent under the attack of microwave weapons.  It's the only painless way to die I've realized and I'm actually preparing for it by purchasing what's needed and keeping it on hand in case.  But unless I'm permanently induced into an immobile state by their torture, I have no desire to die, don't worry.  I have too much to live for and death scares me a lot. But i can't express effectively enough how fucked it is to be in the pain of an attack, it's indescribable and enough for erase my lifelong fear of death no problem.  Death is a welcome option during every minute of each episode, so I'm not afraid  Thanks for listening and pray I have no more episodes by some saving grace, or if I do, they actually come to an end eventually and I can live to tell about yet one more survival tale.

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