P.S. Please do not look for faults in Targeted Individuals instead of helping us in the ways that are needed. We are surrounded by manipulations that are intentionally set up to make us look bad. The people who target us, and those whom they control, will use those set ups to discredit us and make people look down on us.
I have undergone round after round of attempts to frame me or have me labeled as "mentally Ill." The "mentally Ill" labeling stuff started in 2003 - directly after I reported my belief that my little brothers death was not an accident. Other members of my own family have been used in this process of trying to label me, although I have been separate from them through most of my adult life. The aim has also continued through puppets - people who are controlled by those who target me. It has often felt like a full time job to just avoid these set ups.
And on the smaller scales; There appears to be an aim to try to make me look bad for smoking cigarettes. I've caught puppets taking pictures of me smoking. What they will not tell you is the extreme levels of distress, torture and abuse that they used to drive me back to smoking in 2008/2009. . .and the ways that they have tortured me with microwaves and/or surrounded me with smoking puppets every time I try to quit. The last time I quit they even had two puppets offering to buy me a pack of cigarettes. When I quit smoking I usually get emotional, for a while. . .as I release pains I've suppressed with the cigarettes. And this now posses a serious problem, because there have been too many times when I've been tortured for crying or having any sort of deep feelings. . .and times when they have had people suggested that my tears are just cause to label me as "mentally ill
I do not know of any words that can describe how horrible it feels to be held in a public prison, remotely tortured and not allowed to fully take care of myself. While being heavily technologically and psychologically tortured, cigarettes have actually helped me to retain my sanity through numbing out some of the emotional pain that I have not been allowed to privately and freely release
. (This may appear to go against what my original work
is about, but my past statement do not aply to extreme situation.)
While under these extreme levels of distress, and forcibly held in destitution, I have even bought cigarettes with the gift cards I've gotten from churches...etc. And that leads me to another set up; The targeting has also forced me into, and holds me in, such a state of poverty that I've had to seek help from different towns, organizations and churches. I guess this is something we are not supposed to do, but I have done what I have to survive. The first organization I had sought help from severely limited degrading levels of help and repeatedly suggested that I was not allowed to get help from any other place. This seemed like part of the torture process. After that I sometimes felt guilty for seeking help in other places so that I'd not starve. They changed their tune, with me, after I started writing about it, but I wonder how many other people are treated this way. And I still feel like I am doing something wrong for seeking help in other places.
My homes have been destroyed, in various ways, by those who target me. My work
has been repeatedly sabotaged. And the dozens of other jobs I have aimed for were either used as a way to inflict deeper levels of abuse or were quickly sabotaged when they are with people whom they do not have control over.
Since 2004, I have repeatedly aimed to restart my work. . .even changing my name and its name and locations, but it had been repeatedly sabotaged. And the amount of financial help I get seems to have been being controlled by those who target me.
My first reports about something suspicious happening were in 2002 or 2003 after my little brother's death, which happened within a year after he started figuring out that our family was being targeted. I have been begging for every level of personal help since 2006. But those who target me have prevented the levels of help I need.
Since 2006 I'd been held in a state of having to spend most of my time trying to figure out how to survive while surrounded by manipulative walls that hold me in a state of destitution. (I have even begged for money at gas stations and in parking lots.) There are those who chose to use my need for help a reason to judge me, instead of helping me. But, thank God, there are also those whose Hearts understand and do what they can to help.
I think of them as my human angels although I do not know most of them.