Barely three days and my throat's already sore.Based on experience, this means the exposure to radiation is extreme.
My baby has had two bruises, a big one on the back , a small one on her chest. I do not even know how it happened. I just saw the marks when I changed her clothes. The first one was on her back, the next day, the one on her chest. I am with her every time.
I tarry as I think of the best way to get out of the prison I am in. I am at a standstill because I don't wanna offend the person who tried to find ways to help me. Or so he thought. I couldn't tell him he's throwing me right into the pit, I can't as of yet. There's a right time for everything.
It's difficult when the ones who are hurting you are enmeshed in a close-knit circle. You have to think that each small movement you make will throw the very mesh in different directions, pulling everyone along.
Although I cannot divulge a lot of details, I want to immortalize my reason for not IMMEDIATELY fleeing, in the event that something happens.
***The one I respect, I couldn't refuse right away because i know you were just trying to help us. You didn't want to see us on the streets but believe you me, being on the streets is preferable if you know what I know which I can't divulge to you as of yet.
I know that you realized immediately you made a mistake when you called and told me I should find a way to leave immediately and you'll do your part to help me do that as well. I thank you for that. I thank you that you have tried to coordinate with people who you believe may be able to help me stand again.
But if you only knew, they are sabotaging your attempts. In one of their own's words, "it's better this way. We can monitor their every move".
I am placing this here so if the time comes when you'll need to understand some facets of the situation, this may help you.***
More than the physical pain I am undergoing due to the electronic attacks, it's the blow to the soul and the emotional tug that hits right home.
How can people who are supposed to be concerned (and who pretend to be concerned) do such cruel and evil acts? How can they collaborate with one's abusers and pepper the salt to one's wounds with feigned altruism?
I remember this is where I first realized the world isn't what I thought it was. Love isn't real. People pretend. Some attack others just because they see happiness in them, the thing which they lack. So they rob them of it, and continue robbing without ceasing.
(*** Writing about this in a public platform is difficult so i will provide just a minute tip of the iceberg. I will continue to document this in some other private means though. Private meaning, I am taking all possible means of making it my own journal alone, so if someone still tries to read thru my notes, it is only through illegal and improper means that he will come across my musings.)
Comments