A lot of times, people rush into my life and try to change its course. I realize they think they know what they're doing, but it ends up taking me in some horrible directions.
The psychotronic people try to program "family" among other things. Rose died. I don't want to. While I'm eternally trying to screw the man over, I'm also deeply ashamed of my defects as a human being and don't want to bring another person into this world to suffer as I have as fair as that was. I don't have faith that it'll get better, and I don't want it to get worse. I seem to be eternally trapped while everyone else is living it up. I don't want to be a refugee.
Now, as much as I'd love to be chained to our worthless system with offspring that they will threaten to kill to get me to do even stupider things, the thing would end up homeless after I lose my job for having it because this happens when I work. There is no maternity leave, and they don't like pregnant females. I usually end up getting partnered with a bum as well, because I am, of course, the most worthless human being on the planet and deserve to eat dirt with Joe the Hobo. Joe and I would get along with people would leave us alone maybe, but they have issues with Joe's age and other things. It's only okay so long as I'm getting massively screwed over to the maximum potential.
I will admit that after having tapes of Putin played in my head and crawling along the floor to his machines and under his AK47 that a special spark lit in my heart that made me a little insane, like Medea, and I still cackle to this day because I'm glued. Not because I want him, no, heaven forbid that be granted, but because I seem to seek the worth I lost from him, someplace misplaced approval and how dare you ignore all that.
It happened. My life is in a massive pit, and I want out of here. I need something to happen with the brain as well. This stinks.
I'm bored. You?
Why would I lay there? I valued something. I'll never value anything again. Do whatever you want to.
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