I was born in Saint Luke's hospital in Davenport, Iowa. When I was Baptized the priest told my parents I was perfect baby. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic grade school, though I nearly got kicked out for being a class clown and fighting with my teachers. The next year I was bullied to leave by my female peers who said in the chapel that they hated me so much they would never stop what they were doing to me. I took it all very hard. I had my first emotional breakdown, age 13.I grew very religious in High School and read from the Bible during Mass and I was in the choir and I led youth religious weekend retreats. I became very good friends again with the peers from grade school who said they would never befriend me again. Then I went to college, and slowly grew wild, and away from the church, did sinful things, then came back to the church and taught CCD to first graders.I had my twins Baptized by my church here in my town, but we never attended Mass until I moved back home for good, and then I became somewhat religious again, teaching CCD to 6th graders and praying at night with the kids, until the deacon at Mass said there are too many law suits in the world, at a time when I was desperately trying to find a lawyer to end my targeting.Along about this time, 2 or 3 priests from my area of about 5 miles radius, were accused to molesting children in the 70's and 80's. One of these priests used to come our family get togethers, he was very close to my one aunt. I attended church growing up at these places too, but was never subjected to this kind of abuse. It makes me wonder, if I'm set up as a sex slave, and the priests here are set up as sex slaves as well, and whether any of us had any control over it, it makes me wonder if I am to blame for all of this.I left the church, and started to go to another Catholic church about 10 miles away, and the kids went to CCD there. I felt the priest was avoiding me and I wanted to ask him about my targeting, what he knew, so I felt like a burden to him, so I left there. We started going to Evangelical Free, and then I feared other people there were watching me, including the pastor, so, after a long time of doing their AWANAS program for kids, and after a few nights of experiencing electronic torture inside the church, we left.I have sent emails to the Diocese of Davenport asking for anything they may know about my targeting, and I never get a single reply, its as if they are waiting for the gates to open up when we can all start talking about this. I expect to hear from them like waiting for Jesus. The difficulty now with being religious is that God and Jesus and all the saints know our thoughts, they are the ultimate mind readers,, but with the medication it doesn't bother me too much. I've recently started going back to a Catholic church in Clinton< Iowa about 20 miles away, seeking first of all forgiveness and guidance. My children still need certain sacraments if we are to stay and not leave this time.
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