Fear makes us to reject research.
Unconsciously we try to avoid identifying the guilty ones. As if that could save us. On the contrary, it empowers them.
At some point you have to conquer your fears and try to find out who is the real brain behind.
It can be costly, but you have to. Slave minds are what they want. Slavery has always achieved with mind control.
In my particular case it was a painful research. It started when I was mistreated at a hospital. It was the fourth time, so I took things very seriously. When you hear talking about death as I heard you have to awake one way or another.
So I started to research the net, but it was not enough. You have to research the street. And one day, in several places where I tried to get a job, people mentioned a name and made some references that were directly associated with me entring their places and not belonging to. And then I associated name with methods and everything was clear. I also associated name with power. It was a powerful name.
Then I realized that I had to be, in a way lucky and protected implicitly by other people and that my life was at great risk. And that had a paralyzing effect in me. And I secluded myself - not so much as before. I kept on trying to get a job, but going to places that I thought could be friendlier. To no avail. There was always a way to bias people against me. There was always a pretext. And that is the reach of the power of the name that I research.
No wonder there should be hope. Where? I do not know. But I think that I owe to those who helped me the explanation of my perceptions, as I recover from Risperdal and Geodon. Geodon, particularly, almost kills me. In what refers to Risperdal, has obvious effects on memory and control of the body. It might have helped or not. In your particular case. Research these medicines and their side effects. Some people say that they are part of "the game".
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