Soooo frusterated all I hear all day is some b*tch and some as*hole from my past narrating my thoughts out loud and my name constantly Christine D********hozen Christine D*******hozen they have to add hozen after my last name like lol.....then threats and insinuations of all the people I care about I think in one direction theres a whole platter of nasties to go through and they know I know its them and they know I'm not stupid....then the threats come out we're gunna f*ck you up and were gunna wreck everything....and then "were finnished" then they come whopping back Christine D*******hozen Christine D*******hozen what are you thinking Chrisitne D*******hozen they dont know how to be finnished obviously they are addicted to this behaviour its almost like I have to start a path for myself and send them down it to give them something else to destroy but obviously they know thats what im thinking. I could hardly sleep properly last night let alone wake up at 6am narrating my dreams and every little thing while waking up and making up crap in between as if there going to embarris me infront of the whole community I have nothing to be embarrised about and nothing to pick on so they decide there gunna, make something up!.....I'm not even remotely a threat to them....I cant spell today who cares! lol Ill fix it later anyways....now there trying to come between me and my other imaginary friends Lol....like.....its so retarded. One day my imaginary friends and I will not be hounded by them and we will have a life (outside not inside my head). The rest of it all is a sports commentary WHAT THE F*CK IS SO INTERESTING ABOUT ME?! I'm a regular Jane Doe! I talk to the few people I admire online sit around and do crafts and play video games and some astronomy here and there. They look at me like I have a gold mine up my a*s NOTHING in my life would EVER want ANYTHING to do with them I'm POSITIVE. i could NEVER imagine waking up in the morning and thinking "I have nothing to do today lets give someone cancer" how pathetic is THAT!?
I found this site had some good infos on it http://www.justiceforallcitizens.com/electromagvictimtips.html
I'm going to try listening to 2 different radio stations or 2 different songs at once if my brain can handle it. If I get really crafty maby I'll try and get some software to mix tunes like tracktor scratch or something and find a way to irritate the living shit out of them.
I feel much better after writing about this I was near tears before I started though I think it may have been the spannish sausage I ate on my Mexican poutine snack I had for lunch. Trying to eat as healthy as I can that was a first in a while. Im sure i'll have gas later then can narrate!
I have to go see my psychatrist again soon and not sure what to tell him there's no doubt I need the meds to cope I'm already on Prozak Abilify and Saphris which have provided some relief...I need the Saphris to knock me out enough to go to bed and take a nap in the afternoon. Can anyone acctually trust a psychiatrist enough to talk? after being commited last year I feel muzzled and at the same time if i don't take both roads or so to speak I might lose my ability to be able to cope. I've read horror stories on pills and I'm worried one way and worried the other. For me there's nothing worse then hospitals there loud ceiling fans make the head noise so bad and then you have to share a room with someone and then you have to sit there and stare at the wall like how healthy is that? I told him about my hyperacusis and hearing things and that's about as far as it went I just dont feel comfortable saying things like I'm afraid of everyones genitals and ive been attacked several times over. This may be the only thing I can do is blog cuz I know what they will say "your having things like pannick attack things and phobias". is there a magic pill thats going to put an end to this crap so far I havn't heard anything....then they will suggest cognitive behaviour therepy whcih for me isnt worth the agony i'd much rather get my mind off of it.... I just feel like I'm sitting and dwelling on it the more I draw attention to it in that manner I'd feel better on here I guess putting an end to this crap somehow....I took this class once on "how to meditate" which was the only thing I ever felt was useful for this kind of thing but go figure they don't offer it anymore. That was way back when I was dealing with this before but wasnt aware of what "really" was going on....somehow I managed to live several more normalish years before this...
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Vernon landing up in jail would really suck! I hope that one day I to can wake up atleast half normal lol
Labrat I forgot about those noise reduction headphones I'm glad you mentioned them I was just mulling over how sore my ears are from these darn plugs and wtf i'm going to do when I get an ear infection....wow serioulsly Van Gogh? he's always been one of my fav they had a virtual museum of his art on Second Life and we got to stand inside his paintings it was really cool! :)
No worries Sue and Labratt I didn't see it that way thanks for the encouragement it really helps : ), and Peacenik please feel free to talk I love to hear about what others have to say there's so much to read on here I'm afraid of becoming too self absorbed Lol Ms. Kris I wonder about people if they ever get sick when all the appliences and things are off? If I don't to have something to carry the sound it seems to bounce off everyone's head and it hurts! I went camping and it hurt sooo badly I totally blew a gasket I didn't know what to do there was no place to hide of course here where I live I'm so close to a highway and factory turning off anything to get used to it wouldn't do much good...it just seems to be a catch in the middle as far as weither to turn something on or off even with ear plugs which im sure have wrecked me my hearing is so sensitive now I don't dare take them out. I'm glad you have found someone who might be able to help! let me know how it goes! :)
Sorry, I tried......
Vernon, I don't see anything wrong with Labratts comment....I think everyone on here is entitled to there opinion and everyone elses for that matter Lol