Advice for v2k

[Vernon S.]

There is no such thing as truth only perspective. I started experiencing v2k 5 years ago. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it. I suffered from it for 3 longs years before I was finally able to movie forward and begin coping and accepting it. Eventually i became numb to the noise and it no longer worrying me. After it stopped bothering me, it slowly began fading away. I woke up this morning to the sound of silence and i heard a voice for the first time in two years. It was one sentence and it said "We are going to miss you." And then there was dead silence again. It was almost a painful and heart dropping silence. I felt alone. Like i already said, there is a not a day that goes by that i dont think about everything i went through and did to try to get it all to stop before i figured out the truth.i know now and have for for awhile known that a lot of good came from a lot of bad that came out of me. I know that that is hard to grasp to you at the moment and I understand. I was not targeted. I have always hated that term. I was chosen by something. As we're you. Ive always felt like i have a greater purpose due to the experience. Five years later and i am nowhere near the person i was when it all started. Mylifestyle, my interest, professional and social life has changed completely. I have been with peace pink from day 1 of all of this but I have never stuck around and kept up with you guys. I chose a couple of TIS to help out and left this place. I really hope you will take this advice . I have no gain from doing this so i know that ot has got to be for somethIng. First of all i cannot read your mind. You cannot read mine but, you can stop the war being waged in your own head. There is no spiritual connection that gives us psychic powers between one another. The questions of how and who are really insignificant. You really need to understand that first of all because you will not get any further then you are until you do. Reguardless of what you believe, It's all you. I may step on alot of toes for saying this but,you have somerepressed thoughts and angee that you did not deal with appropriately. Free yourself from those repressed thoughts that you have by opening up and dealing with them. Dont worry, no one is really on the other line taking your confession. . LoL. You have to work these things out so you can get passed them. Self acceptance is very impprtant and will get you far in life. . Once that part is done then its all down hill from there. Next, work on forgiving. Forgive everyone. I know its hard but youcleanses your heart. . Forgive yourself As well. . Try to pride yourself for your good qualities and dont dwell on the negative ones. Once you get to this point. You already feel completely clizenzed . Once you reach this point there is nothing you can hear that bothers you anymore. When there is nothing to hide there is nothing to fear. This wont make the noise go away but it does make it so much easier to ignore. Once i reached here i was able to shut down a thought mid sentence and disreguard it all together. Revert your thought process and continue tour train of thought. Its important to reteach yourself that. I often found that when i did that i couldnt even remember what i heard that bothered me to begin with. If you can get here, life is back to normal. Speak freely and dont point fingers. That always leads to regret later on. Trust me on that. I ended up in jail because i thought i could make a difference. It just made me look foolish and now im stuck witb a mugshot for the rest of my life. Step out of your comfort zone and face your fears. Don't dwell on this my friend and do not isolate yourself from the world because of it. You really need that social interaction to deal with things. A spouse is ideal. If you cant trust anyone else a good one will always be by your side. Don't lose your ability to ever think rationally. I am able to talk openly about what i went through ans it has made me so much stronger. I usually just tell people i went crazy and used to hear voices but i fought through it. People respect a fighter. There is life after what you are going through now and it's a good one if you choose for it to be. I am willing to help you as much as you let me but, you must first start with yourself. Please don't wage wars on yourself. When you get angry and argue with yourself you will get nowhere. Good luck.