I was lying in bed last night, unable to sleep due to the DEW (!) that keeps me awake, and thought about what my handler (when I still thought he was a TI) told me about psychopaths/narcissists.  He said that they don't really know how to relate to others, that they don't understand it when people cry at a funeral or when they weep for joy.  He said that they learn how to mimick these things by watching and imitating others.  And I got all choked up, I felt real pity for the people that are doing this.  THEY can't feel!  At least anything real.  What an awful way to go through life - having to pretend to live. 


And I also thought about the man that carried out the set-up, and the man that I lived with that was my handler for six months.  Mike or Mark or whatever your real name is, and James, I feel so bad for you.  You are living a pseudo life.  I believe it's karma that gave you the infirmities you have.  You must have done something really bad in your previous life to have gotten what you have now.  I shudder to think about how what you are doing in this life will get you in the next (will you get a next life?). 

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