I've been over on FFCHS for maybe 8 months or so, and just heard of this place because of a mention on a discussion thread over there.
Not really in the mood to dig up all the gory details to start off.
This started against me 1-21-03, so it's been quite a long haul. I have left a career position as an engineer in MD, after deciding that I'd be happy living single in an area with 2:1 male to female ratio, or I was packing up and leaving before someone retired and I took their supervisor position.
When I got back to NY, I was applying for jobs left and right, living off the savings that I had built (which would have otherwise went toward a home in MD). After not receiving responses at all for emails that I had sent, I started to document every job, with position, job title, salary, company name and contact info, job location (in case it differed from company location), contact person with email and phone number. Everything.
I applied for 286 jobs over a 5½ week period, and didn't so much as get a single call back, letter in the mail, or automatic email response, and I knew something had to be going on. the last job that I came to on Monster for the 3rd time that week was Technology Transfer Specialist, and I made a comment about Bush in the privacy of my own home. Somewhere between 7:08 or 7:12pm, I made the comment, and then they started with the talking and all the other nonsense.
I eventually found a job that was extremely labor-intensive and was getting zero to 4½ hours sleep per night due to constant disturbance, arm twitch, or my eyes feeling like they were being pried open. I spent my entire weekend trying to get enough sleep go back each Monday morning, and can literally remember crying to God when walking out to go to work, thinking that I can't do this again this week.
Before getting that job I got extremely sick from some odd-tasting milk, where I was vomiting and had diarrhea for 3 days, and I really didn't expect to survive. 2 weeks later I had to pull a 1" stone out- an event I preferred not to live through. :/
3 months there, got to collect unemployment for quite a while after that, 4 months working out of town that required me to use my vehicle to do the work (~1000 miles/ week mileage) then maybe 5 or 6 months in the next job that was 2 hours from home, so i moved there. When I lost that for being sick all night and getting no sleep, and deciding to not go in even if it cost my job, then of course I found employment near home, requiring a 2+ hour drive everyday (in winter. in NY) that kept me from having enough money to move closer.
4½ hours of driving and 9 hours at work didn't leave much time to eat, sleep, and get ready the next day. I fell asleep twice on the Thruway coming home from work, to wake up while driving on the shoulder. A constant fight to stay awake for at least half the drive home each night.
The sexual stuff had started long before that, but the first time that it happened at work, while sitting at my lab table, that was it. I was trying to sleep in my car at lunch and thought about it, and told them that I was quitting.
so that was that. Eventually I broke the law, which I only did through my own stupidity, not knowing that the non-writing side while drawing the lot is "no answer" I did something that was stupid in hindsight. God won't give you approval to break the law. You'll never get an answer for that, since there's already one out there: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I just got off probation at the beginning of last week. They kept me the full time, had ordered a psych eval while waiting for a trial (since they couldn't make sense of why I would do something). That was 8 months before I finally got probation, and then 5 complete years to be free.
When asked if I heard voices, "are you speaking to me right now?" When asked if strange things, some of which had happened, some later, my response, "nothing that isn't common to man." (the doctor didn't know the bible reference).
So I ended up going through the psych eval later after sitting before a board and having one doctor who didn't like my answer to a question look over at another and say "hmmm" while making a face. She then denied she had said anything.
The people that were in the nuthouse, as in victims, really screwed my head on straight. A couple really stood out, that I talked to regularly and tried to talk some sense into, since I realized that I was getting a little loopy in my own decisions about what was going on against me. One guy was going through an eval after 5 years in prison, and he was really messed up. He claimed to be the "sevenfold spirit of God" and that he was killing grim reapers every time they popped up. They would have locked him up for life. After 3 times talking with him, and since he always carried a bible, I only quoted verses. The 4th time I met him in the gym he was finally in his right mind.
All of this messes with people's judgment. Just seeing him made me see my own position.
It's easier now not only because less is being done, and I'm nearly sleeping enough each night, but mainly because they've done what they wanted. I'm denied any career, and so much as volunteering for something means that I can't sleep on a schedule. I'm poor, so I'm economically enslaved. I have 0 chance of every meeting a woman, and nothing to offer her if I found one. I can't afford to ever raise a family. I'm pretty well stuck. With a felony, who would look twice if I had a chance at a job. Can I even leave this country now because of it? At least I ave social security, but not exactly how I want to be living at 45.
I'm hoping to move to Israel. I don't expect any change at all in my situation by living there, and it might be worse. I'm a Christian, and a descendent of Jacob through Asher. Israel is the only country where becoming a citizen doesn't nullify your US citizenship, so best option I can think of. I can live there, collect social security, and if anyone wants to come and kill me there, I don't have any objection. I'm not suicidal or homicidal. I just don't care if someone decides to. Sure seems like that would be the right place....
That's the bulk of it, without going on in detail to what all of you already know what we're living through.
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