I am not sure if you all are actively listening or not still, but it is such garbage that they want you to hear, I would truly stress trying to hold a constant dialogue in your head, with yourself. I would so much rather listen to myself think that my perp spew filth that I have found it within myself to do just that. I talk over him the entire time, and although I still process some of what he is saying, I know that he isn't getting what he wants: my unfiltered response.
Think about it, that is exactly what they do to us, they talk constantly...so I flipped the game on him. I talk over him the entire time to the point that when he says things, I process them but I don't respond. I used to try and respond to everything, and now I hold a dialogue with myself and do my best to not skip a beat when he's talking. It is very difficult at first, but over time you get used to it and I promise, for me at least, that it is 100% better than just listening.
Also, every time a bad memory of mine is brought up, I try and either tell him that it is so truly miserable that he lives in someone else's past rather than his present, and I counter with a positive memory. This is a battle that he will never win; I have 10% more positive, amazing memories than I do bad...it is a poor road to take for him.
Also, while your perp may say that they love every second of this, and a part of them does -- that is because its the only path they have left. NO ONE, not even your perp would truly WANT to be themselves...if faced between choice A)stalking people, and torturing them, or choice B) simply finding true happiness -- they would've all chosen happiness and that is a fact. Those who do terrible things to others aren't doing it for the thrill, they are doing it to fill the void inside of them. They are bothered that others are truly enjoying life and want to take that because they can't create it themselves.
I remind my perp that he is going to spend a lifetime searching for something I have already found: peace and happiness. In trying to take if from someone else, all he did was guarantee he will never find it.
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