Hi there, I’ve decided to keep a diary and tell a story of how i started hearing voices and suffering apparently from Schizophrenia. though i feel it could be something else…. i.e ELF or project blue beam or some type of electronic harassment or just spiritual or am i just plain mad???
Its now the year 2014 and i have had it for 5 years so far. I personally feel sometimthing but more sinister than a mental illness is happening to me because at first it scared me. It started back in 2009 around feburury when it seem some type of outside force was trying to communicate with me - at first i took this to maybe god, a ghost, my spirit, or a spiritual awakening of some sort even the devil or something bad- whatever it is there interested in me. I had many strange things happen to me such as tactile sensations as they are called by doctors which communicate in a morse type of code - basically i realised something was communicating with me that felt like not just my own thoughts - so i came up with a morse code communication like for ghosts - as at the time i thought this would be the easiest way to ‘chat’ (this was before the voices started. The ‘force or presence then started using this - I’ll give you an example i would think in my head a question and the ‘presence’ or force would respond by tapping parts of my body the number of times related to the the morse code word. i.e 1 knock/tap means ok 2 means no 3 means yes etc - but not just that but areas i was around would make a knocking sound - three taps for yes etc not as much as tapping my body - the sensation feels cold and not concisely done by myself. So this confirmed by believe it was an outside force and not my own doing. I also started writing numbers down and certain symbols (star of david with 333 around it) - some of at the time i didn’t know what they meant and had to research it. It felt like the information was being downloaded into my head. I was also looking up a lot of information about occultism, the bible and other new age sites. From Feburyry 2009 to June i was still living in London, I started to get very paranoid and felt people could hear my thoughts (so called thought broadcasting) I could not take it anymore so i moved from london to dorset to near my family. Thats when i had a very unusual experience one night (june 25th 2009) i was looking out my window when i started to feel my heart beat slow down and then stop. It stopped for quite a while 3-5 mins yet i was still alive and couldn’t figure out how. Then there was a bright white with a hint of blue light that seemed to come from everywhere and my body jolted and it felt as if something inside me had come out. I then remember going and siting on my bed and switching the light on, suddenly it made a tapping noise and then i heard a voice say “I am the light” this as far as i can remember was the first time i heard a voice which didn’t sound like me (at the time i thought it was jesus/god). Since then i have heard multiple voices female and male/ deceased friends and relatives and even my own voice (seeming/ sounding younger than i am now) which seems outside me or at least feels like its not my thoughts (inner voice) and very out of control emotionally and with what it says at times. Of course Doctors dismiss anything paranormal or supernatural and say it is a chemical imbalance in my brain. I am on medication for psychosis but it has never stopped completely but does quieten the voices but not the tapping/morse code.
More about the voices. (at the time of writing this) One i feel is satan trying to deceive me and others by using me as a tool. The other seems to be jesus/anti christ and the other myself which lately seems to be the most talkative - telling me I’m a saint from 6th century returned, I have over the years given it many names, higher self, my spirit, super conciouness, super ego etc etc. maybe its all those things but it is very very annoying to say the least it feels like and sounds like a younger version of myself, which can be ok some times if you want to revert to a child like state but personally id like to live a private life as an adult. The sad thing is there always there and respond to everything thought i have. They also embrass me insult me and say very evil things, crazy etc . Lately they keep threaten to kill me and personally i wish they would but so far its any empty threat.
I am starting to think this is a form of mind control and that it maybe undetectable to some but not others thats why some seem aware and others not. Of course this sounds like a conspiracy but who’s to say some of those are not true. Couldd the government / illumanti have such power to read a persons thoughts/ create different personality alters etc or communicate with ELF waves or synthetic telepathy. They do say the govement etc is 30-40 yrs technology ahead of what is out there.
More about the numbers.
Of course my logical mind reasons that numbers are just numbers and writing them down doesn’t cause some type of effect on others. The numbers I wrote were 333, 666, 999 and for a long time and I’m still not sure what they mean. Of course the number 666 worries me as its in the bible. By what I’ve research on the internet there are all types of meanings. The meanings i found where 333 in occultism and new age is connected to so called ‘christ conciouness’ or higher levels of reality or life death and resurrection. 666 well everyone knows from the bible what that means - 6 being the number of man and is not good. 999 i am not sure but looking into it maybe opposite to 666 or means something else i’ll update this diary soon when i feel i have more information.
Since my last entry i have been hearing less voices. but still ‘aware’ of some presence weather this be electronic or technology based or truly spiritual. All i know is something is aware of my thoughts. Going though ‘this’ whatever it is, has made me think on many levels about religion, the human mind and cause and effect and many other things philosophical matters. Since the voices have calmed down i can think clearer without interruption.
at the start of this i was seeing numbers like 333 everywhere has anyone else had this? is it connected to DEW/V2k ???
you see its very long.
it started in 2009 in london and all i can remeber was at the time i was very sad and i prayed to jesus for help. i got all these vibs nice ones and then a week or two later i met or think i met him. he told me not to worry about what people thought and what was going to happen. of course i had no idea what he meant - he(jesus) just seemed to know me in some way. at the time i met him i had no idea who i was. it was going to take me another year to figure out that. that i am in deed a saint or was one back in the 6th century. the voices didnt tell me this - they for the first year or so didnt believe me and neither did I - but ive always for my whole live been able to create this strange vib in my head at will - never thought deep about it until the strange things started - i believe it might be the holy ghost - a very nice feeling unlike theirs. but back to my story, ill expand on that later. After i met this 'man' jesus? looked just like him 6.5" tall very much like the pictures lol. anyway after him a few weeks into may 2009 i started being followed and felt extreeme parnoria and was being followed for about a week outside and at my flat by two blackout heilcopters - top of the range - obviously very high tech. this was the start of the harassment by THEM - the next month i had internet problems like you, extreme pains, breathing problems and a heart attack - very painful but didnt die. I moved away from london to dorset and to my current flat, before that i had the strangest expirence of my life. it was on June 25th 2009 at 2:30am my HEART stopped - beleieve or not and i can remember freaking out big time. i mean i had no heart beat for 5 mins maxium - now the human body loses conciouness after max 2 mins maybe less. then there was this huge bright white light and i felt wonderful but heart suddenly started up again. from then on
they took a big interest in me then. I was ok but then the voices started and at first i thought it was heaven etc - naturally if something like that happens but of course since that date the vibs have continued but the voices have got worse saying rape and using diffferent voices or my own. so not real heaven. but maybe i am the real thing so thats why 'they' are interested in me. I did research to see if what i was being or jesus said was true and seems i might have been a saint in a previous life. (google saint finbarr). everything connected to me - the painting and picture are similar look at the eyes similar level - one on my eyes is slighly higher than the other lol sounds weird but i took the same as i did then, my family history from cork and much more seems to add up so well it cant be just total chance. There is no doubt the other people are evil or not right in the head to say the least especially if the same type are doing what they are doing to you. I feel we maybe in the last days and into the 42 months of satan reign or going to happen soon. If they are connected to him and i am who they say or who i beleieve then i may not have a long time left to live. whitch doesnt scare me at all - i believe in god/jesus and life is just a process but that is still no excess for them doing this to people. as you said god wins in the end even if we are in or coming to the tribulations. I was a roman catheolic in my previous life so maybe they are attacking them aswell as others?
anyway god bess u ill pray for you and your problems maybe that will help.
2012 update. my voices and v2k has almost stopped. have faith all if it can happen to me it can happen to u.
Im 27 and have been being harrassed by them for 3 years now, though at the start like many i thought i was just going crazy and hearing voices but ive been on the meds for years now and nothing has really changed. I have been doing research on this for a few months now and sespect i well could be a victim like many many other people out there so thought i might as well add my story even if 'them' (cia whatever/who) are harrasment me everyday of my life.
it started in 2009 and i can say ive had almosy all the electronic symptoms on the list. and still hear voices from them threating me 24/4 - embrassment or people hearing my thoughts and no privatcy as well as the weapons they use. anyway if want know more lets talk!
cheers take care glad to find others in same situation.
finn peace x
ok well i thought id write my own story of what happend to me. but first off a few sites that have helped me find out what is going on with myself and that im not mad as a thought.If you are hearing voices from 'them' as i do id love to chat on here and know ur story.
here are a view videos tand sites helped me.
(THAT ONE I CAN TICK YES TO ALMOST ALL THEM)
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