email: cubicle227 at yahoo . ca (you can contact me any time for any reason)
This is a mind control (symptoms) log I will update frequently.
Here, I will try to post symptoms I am currently experiencing caused by the mind control, and related experiences. These are suspicions at the least, facts at best.
I hope to update this post about once every day or few days. I was inspired by Martti Koski who did something similar. Another victim who spoke to me by phone also recommended I write about it each day.
I lost a log I was keeping from a few weeks ago.
"They" usually means the people or beings who are secretly trying to enslave and robotize me.
For more information on how mind control has affected my life and how it began, you can read this blog post:
https://peacepink.ning.com/profiles/blogs/my-life-mind-control-and-psychosis-constant-abuse?xg_source=activity
Sunday, August 10, 2014
They tell me to "remove internet posts about mind control, immediately/completely" through text that briefly appears or "flashes" in my vision.
(May be induced directly or as a learned reaction to thoughts about my posts, from past indoctrination)
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
They close my jaw onto harder foods so as to cause me pain when I eat, which makes me angry and want to use ketamine (teeth are sensitive from dental procedure).
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
They jolt my arms to cause painful collisions when I move close to objects.
They greatly reduced a feeling of joy when I was with a friend, by making my throat muscle "click" in a way I'm trained to react strongly to.
They made me stay in place when I was thinking of moving, by triggering a "drooling" hallucination that grounds me and blocks thoughts about how I will move away.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
They can force me to make simple sounds with my voice, but not full words.
Friday, August 15, 2014
Had a dream related to my hospital-induced trauma, in which parts seemed artificially induced in one way or another: a childish voice telling me "Some people will stay and some will die, but it doesn't matter because one day you'll be the only one left" (similar to what produced delusions about being forced to live forever and being alone on earth when they triggered my psychotic episode). Also, being mocked in the dream when realizing the skull I see (in real life) is related to the damage my psyche endured during one night in the hospital kitchen.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
As is usual, tiny burp-like "clicks" keep me thinking about drugs (and sometimes psychosis, trauma, etc.) in a crude, essentially unimportant way.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Especially this evening, They are using the tactile hallucinations I'm programmed to react to, to make me think in a more self-centered, subjective, uncreative way. While I wrote this, they symbolized my neck being cut. Every day, they irritate me (emotionally) when I decide to do something (i.e. drink some water). Through this, they are probably reducing my motivation to do things by will, and may be preparing me for another catatonic episode.
Monday, August 18, 2014
They directly made me say "hell" and "yeah/ya,"
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Through the tactile hallucinations they induce, they have been limiting my range of thought to here and now, inhibiting my ability to recall memories or think about things which are not directly present. And even then they try to stop the thoughts.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
According to them, they work for the CSIS, and indicate they are telling me the truth. They also communicate that my amygdala is greatly damaged. My own mind can see the link between one of the nights in the sunnybrook hospital kitchen and (perhaps) permanent over-activation of my amygdala or part of my brain stem. It's a suspicion.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
They sometimes (only slight today) gradually oversensitize me to hums from machines, which they overload me with when I am vulnerable. Too much mechanical energy. This doesn`t happen much anymore.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Constant suppression of thoughts as usual, resulting in uncreative and repetitive thoughts about drugs. Thinking creatively about a spiritual, psychedelic reality when I could gave me hope and made me more resistant to their itch torture.
Sunday+Monday, August 24+25, 2014
Constant thought suppression through mini burps and drooling hallucinations
Tuesday, August 26, 2014?
They use itch hallucinations across the Inside of my knees and elbows, which can make me think of bone-breaking. They also mimic a painless version of a needle going through my inner elbow.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Itches on inner knee when I changed my position or felt comfortable during the night.
For months, I`ve noticed synchrony between my thoughts and actions, and people coughing or honking in their car. It may be used as a way to discourage such actions. This can sometimes be noticed in sitcoms, too.
More than a coincidence, I say.
Out of all the writing I did today, the one above is the only one I was discouraged from writing through throat-muscle clicks.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Psychosis started. I used DXM instead of alcohol, and paid the price. Essentially all drugs seem to aid in my tendency to be programmed against my will, but this is partially because I don't use them when I desire, but rather during moments of anger or even panic.
It is essentially about being given knowledge by "aliens," having them force me to believe they were never here or that it is my own delusion, etc. By giving the universe an idea as to all of my desires, I may also have knowingly and wrongly informed it about myself.
Apparently this psychosis will be painful (as were the other two episodes) and I have tried to warn the universe of the severe consequences. It seems to have tried to warn me, too.
Love, Daniel. And hopefully, I will not be too much more of a robot after this.
