This is a text-message I sent a friend not long ago. I thought it could be a valuable thing to post.
I was basically asked, "What kind of tactile hallucinations do you experience constantly? How do you feel about them?"
The hallucinated drooling... That started after I drooled in sunnybrook hospital. I associated my saliva with poison. But the drooling doesn't happen spontaneously, it happens when I have creative or imaginative thoughts, or when I try to think of evidence that sunnybrook harmed me, or evidence that something is still harassing me. It slows my thoughts right down, often to the point that I can't think and forget what I was thinking about.
I am under the impression this is a mind-hacking/controlling tactic used by a secret authority to disable creative thinking. It also symbolizes my being mentally slow, something I think they might be using to reduce my self-esteem (they do this a lot), etc. I get hallucinated tears below my eyes. This also reduces my thinking, but reminds me of helplessness and sometimes trauma, as in "we removed your ability to cry, but here's a tear whether you like it or not, just to remind you of what we did to you."
Both of these hallucinations can also be upward (i.e. drooling toward the mouth, crying toward the eye), where they will give me a feeling similar to adrenaline or fear (instead of blankness/sedation), and is occasionally used by the authority as an attempt to backtrack by one programming step (reversed movement in a hallucination can symbolize going backward, and in sunnybrook I tried to rethink the last thought to allow them to program my brain more effectively when I thought submitting to them would reduce the torture. They just turned that backtracking into an automatic reaction, triggered on command, using fear/trauma-based programming that ingrained the reaction in a part of my subconscious mind. I think).
There are also itches they produce all over my body, which happened every night since about age 10, but I didn't know what it was. Now, when I ask them to stop, they specifically increase the frequency/severity. This can prevent me from sleeping and wake me out of a dream unless I'm fully immersed in it. Sometimes, they will try to make me scratch myself, then punish me by adding itches at the exact time I decide to scratch. The itchiness can really distract me and increase my irritability. In the past, it's been a bit of a trigger for drug use, too.
I also experience gentle prick-like hallucinations on my fingers, which I feel are like commands/communication from the authority. Example: prick on the index finger symbolizes waving of that finger, as in "no, don't do that" or on my thumb it symbolizes thumbs up, as in approval or encouragement. On my middle finger it's like using the middle finger, which symbolizes humorous, rude discouragement, a sarcastic remark like "that's a ridiculous idea."
And so on.
There are muscle spasms, strange interpretations related to other hallucinations, twitches, and visual impressions I get, also with their own special meaning, but those aren't really tactile hallucinations.
Oh, and how I feel about them... I hate them. They constantly suppress my mind, are used to program me thought by thought and action by action, change my decisions based on whether or not I'll be harassed with the hallucinations if I make one choice over the other, etc. They are mild hell. They weaken my ability to have hopeful and beautiful thoughts that make me resistant to them and their programming.
Sometimes I experience mild "artificially induced" pain in parts of my body but this doesn't bother me very much.
The End. :)
Love, Daniel
