2014 (3)

Tactile hallucinations used in my enslavement

This is a text-message I sent a friend not long ago. I thought it could be a valuable thing to post.
I was basically asked, "What kind of tactile hallucinations do you experience constantly? How do you feel about them?"


The hallucinated drooling... That started after I drooled in sunnybrook hospital. I associated my saliva with poison. But the drooling doesn't happen spontaneously, it happens when I have creative or imaginative thoughts, or when I try to think of evidence that sunnybrook harmed me, or evidence that something is still harassing me. It slows my thoughts right down, often to the point that I can't think and forget what I was thinking about.

I am under the impression this is a mind-hacking/controlling tactic used by a secret authority to disable creative thinking. It also symbolizes my being mentally slow, something I think they might be using to reduce my self-esteem (they do this a lot), etc. I get hallucinated tears below my eyes. This also reduces my thinking, but reminds me of helplessness and sometimes trauma, as in "we removed your ability to cry, but here's a tear whether you like it or not, just to remind you of what we did to you."


Both of these hallucinations can also be upward (i.e. drooling toward the mouth, crying toward the eye), where they will give me a feeling similar to adrenaline or fear (instead of blankness/sedation), and is occasionally used by the authority as an attempt to backtrack by one programming step (reversed movement in a hallucination can symbolize going backward, and in sunnybrook I tried to rethink the last thought to allow them to program my brain more effectively when I thought submitting to them would reduce the torture. They just turned that backtracking into an automatic reaction, triggered on command, using fear/trauma-based programming that ingrained the reaction in a part of my subconscious mind. I think).


There are also itches they produce all over my body, which happened every night since about age 10, but I didn't know what it was. Now, when I ask them to stop, they specifically increase the frequency/severity. This can prevent me from sleeping and wake me out of a dream unless I'm fully immersed in it. Sometimes, they will try to make me scratch myself, then punish me by adding itches at the exact time I decide to scratch. The itchiness can really distract me and increase my irritability. In the past, it's been a bit of a trigger for drug use, too.


I also experience gentle prick-like hallucinations on my fingers, which I feel are like commands/communication from the authority. Example: prick on the index finger symbolizes waving of that finger, as in "no, don't do that" or on my thumb it symbolizes thumbs up, as in approval or encouragement. On my middle finger it's like using the middle finger, which symbolizes humorous, rude discouragement, a sarcastic remark like "that's a ridiculous idea."
And so on.


There are muscle spasms, strange interpretations related to other hallucinations, twitches, and visual impressions I get, also with their own special meaning, but those aren't really tactile hallucinations.


Oh, and how I feel about them... I hate them. They constantly suppress my mind, are used to program me thought by thought and action by action, change my decisions based on whether or not I'll be harassed with the hallucinations if I make one choice over the other, etc. They are mild hell. They weaken my ability to have hopeful and beautiful thoughts that make me resistant to them and their programming.


Sometimes I experience mild "artificially induced" pain in parts of my body but this doesn't bother me very much.

The End. :)

Love, Daniel

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Psychosis is active, must try my best

Hi everyone. Email: cubicle227@yahoo.ca - contact me any time.I thought it would be good to let everyone know, I feel as the the psychosis i experience has turned into an episode during parts of my day. This site has helped me. It was pretty amazing to find others like me when it seems almost no one understands me, truly, in the world around me, offline.I used drugs this month and am paying the consequences. It is extremely difficult for me to listen to my mom, who has been grounding me, letting me function, for 1.5 years or so. My social life became great too.Thanks Sue, Qijia cheng, david of tomorrow and labrat for the support you gave me. Just wonderful.Long story short, I feel as though I've lost a battle of great importance. So easily, too. My first blog post explains the part of my psychosis and brainwashing that is most important, or acute. My drive to do things is very erratic, and I am beginning to feel as though I may become catatonic sometime.Love, Daniel.
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They programmed me to commit suicide... or began to

email: cubicle227 at yahoo . ca - you can send me an email any time for any reason.

They are probably in the process of programming me for suicide, very slowly.

I thought it would be good for me to write an article about how they programmed me for suicide, at sunnybrook hospital. I am tired, but I will try my best.

Firstly, I believe I was probably triggered to come extremely close to it (knife on my skin) before I was taken to sunnybrook hospital. Once there, I was continuously forced not to resist psychological torture until I began to imagine running into a large food heater, sometimes trying to commit suicide, sometimes trying to escape the hospital. I was made to become secretly attracted to the idea of turning myself into liquid. I would go toward the source of fetishized suffering related to this when I drank alcohol later on.

In the hospital, a staff member often clicked a pen and I was programmed to become more and more triggered by this, to commit suicide. Then the idea of having my body forcefully moved toward the electrical socket became a problem. I imagined my distance from the socket to happen in "steps" related to disobedience.

Continuously, I was forced to imagine things like pouring acid on myself, putting myself into the heater, electrocuting myself or gouging my eyes. They made me insane and blamed it on my psychosis.

Love, Daniel

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