This is the edited version of Chapter 3.
Before sending to the publisher, Please have a look and point out any mistake of spelling, grammer or other.
Chapter Three: God’s consolation brought joy to my soul
Psalm 94:
18 When I said, “My foot is slipping.” Your love, O Lord, supported me.
19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
A bright full moon was hanging in the dark blue sky, so clean, so clear and so high. This was a really unpredictable journey in my life. This was a journey that I was looking for something good to come out of; waiting, hoping and remembering with my life and my heart. This journey was a soul experience, and I was hoping for a future. Looking at such a bright moon in the cloudless sky, I could feel that God was with me. God was like the bright moon, accompanying me with my journey and illuminating my future.
The voices did not harass me as I was listening to a song with these words –
“One world we can make, all wonders love can bring, ……, the whole world following you, to the leader of the land.”
Closing my eyes, sitting quietly, I did not think of anything.
When the airplane landed, I was almost the last one walking out of the airplane. Wearing earphones and listening to the Walkman, I paid little attention to my surroundings. The soothing rhythm and words of the song, “It is me you are looking for” encompassed me. My paces were leisurely, and just fit the melody of the music. People always used to say that I walked fast, fearless and militant, but today, I kept a slow pace.
In the Thailand Airport, I saw some hotel reservation desks. I booked a room in a cheap hotel. The hotel also offered a free, one-day sight-seeing tour to some Buddhist temples in Thailand. The young driver who took me to that hotel had a short conversation with me, while driving me to the hotel. He said his grandfather was from China, and also asked about me, such as, where I was from and what my career was. I answered his questions very briefly with the words, “I am a student from Australia”.
The hotel was located in a dirty and messy area, close to some construction sites. The wind swirled dust about the streets.
After simple dinner and a good shower, I sat in the room and felt bewildered. What was I going to do in Thailand? Where could I go to get help? Who could tell me what I should do? I did not have any plan of action. Sitting on the bed, wearing earphones and listening to the music, I was completely drawing a blank and stared blankly for a long time.
I had wished to hear God’s voice, but God could not talk to me with a voice when there were so many other voices harassing me. Those voices which had been harassing me all most 24 hours a day were human beings. I knew there must be some other way that God could “talk” to me. Suddenly, I remembered something: “The Bible is God’s word!”
I had been reading the booklet that introduced the Bible, which I carried with me when I left the hotel in Hong Kong, but, I did not know which words could tell me what I should do in such a lost and bewildering situation. I took out the booklet, closed my eyes, knelt down, and held the book in my hands, praying, “God, I don’t know what to do. Please guide me. If you are really here, please open the booklet together with me, and use the words in the Bible to guide me.”
I opened the booklet with my eyes closed, and pointed at somewhere of the page with my forefinger. I opened my eyes and found that my finger exactly pointed to a word, “The Queen of the South will rise at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for she came from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon's wisdom, and now one greater than Solomon is here”, Matthew 12:42. Also, there was a line of small print which said that the Queen would rise in the South Land.
I felt even more puzzled as soon as I read these words. Was God telling me that I was the Queen of the South? When was the Judgment? Where were the ends of the earth? What was Solomon’s wisdom? How could I find Solomon’s wisdom? How could one be greater than Solomon? What did the queen mean? Did the queen mean that I must find a king to get married? With so many questions to contend with, I found myself in a deeper confusion.
However, I at least understood one important thing; here in the Bible, the queen was not an administrative position of government. Jesus was the King; he had never had an administrative position of government.
Moreover, I had a royal blood, same with Jesus Christ; this should be a coincidence that I had some connection with a queen. Ancestors of my father and my mother were both Emperors of ancient China. I was indeed a princess of an unknown generation of both Han and Tang Dynasties.
My mother’s family descended from Emperors of the Tang Dynasty (618ACE-907ACE). The Tang Dynasty, with its capital at Chang'an (present-day Xi'an), which at the time was the most populous city in the world, was generally regarded as a high point in Chinese civilization — equal to, or surpassing that of, the earlier Han Dynasty (202BCE-220ACE) — a golden age of cosmopolitan culture. Its territory, acquired through the military campaigns of its early rulers, rivaled that of the Han Dynasty. Besides political hegemony, the Tang also exerted a powerful cultural influence over neighboring states such as those in Korea, Japan, and Vietnam.
My father’s family descended from Emperors of the Han Dynasty (202BCE-220ACE). The Han Dynasty was an age of economic prosperity. Spanning over four centuries, the period in which this dynasty ruled was considered the golden age in Chinese history. To this day, China's majority ethnic group refers to itself as the “Han people” (Han Race).
Liu Bang (256BC or 247BCE–June 1, 195BCE), was the first emperor of the Han Dynasty, ruling over China from 202BCE to 195BCE. Liu was one of the few dynasty founders in Chinese history that emerged from the peasant class. Liu Bang was born and raised in a farmer’s family. His non-biological father and his mother, who were called Uncle Liu and Auntie Liu, were farmers in Feng County. In his youth, Liu Bang liked making friends more than learning how to farm. Liu Bang was a man of a merciful and compassionate nature; he loved others and liked almsgiving; he was an expansive person, who was prepared to aim high.
Liu Lei was officially recognized as the ancestor of Liu Bang’s non-biological father, “Lu Shi-Hou Ji” told us that Liu Lei was a descendant of Yao, a legendary monarch in ancient China.
The Records of the Grand Historian, authored by a Chinese historian named Sima Qian, who deserved high praise for recording accurate history that was never deceptively pleasing, nor hiding of any ugliness, during the period of 109 BCE to 91 BCE, told us that Liu Lei was a Dragon Tamer in Xian Dynasty (about 2070BCE-1600BCE). Liu's family regarded dragons as likeable animals which could be tamed, but they did not worship the dragon.
After Han Dynasty, ancestors of my father escaped to Sichuan and Yunnan Province to avoid the wars. Before the ancestors of my father moved to East Shandong Peninsula during about 1650-1750, they had hidden in Yunnan Province for more than 1000 years, to avoid the wars and massacres of those times.
Despite all those questions, there was still another slightest bit of a coincidence. I had just lived in Australia where people called it, the South Land. The booklet said, “The Queen would rise in the South Land”, if I was the Queen of the South, I had fulfilled the condition of the “south”.
The name of Australia came from the Latin word “terraaustralis”, which meant the south land. When Europeans in the 17th century first came to Australia, they believed that the Australian continent was through the South Pole, until today, people still called it the Great South Land – Australia.
Australia's financial and mining booms between 1969 and 1970 (the year when I was born) resulted in the establishment of headquarters for many major companies (BHP Billiton and Rio Tinto, among others) in the city. Nauru's then booming economy resulted in several ambitious investments in Melbourne, such as Nauru House. Nauru had become incredibly wealthy, thanks to the selling of phosphate, and began the Nauru Phosphate Royalties Trust (NPRT) to re-invest profits in international real-estate. Melbourne remained Australia's main business and financial center until the late 1970s, when it began to lose this primacy to Sydney. [1]
Because I did not know Australian universities very well, and I did not have time to cope with all the red tape, I found an agent to search for a good university for me and to handle the application procedures of the university and for a visa. Studying in Melbourne, Victoria, the southernmost city of the Australian continent was only a contingency of my choice, but, was it an inevitable choice of God’s plan?
Before I applied to the university in Australia, I also had applied for General Skilled Migration to New Zealand and got approval in principle.
I closed the book with a sigh. After suffering for such a long time, I felt that my brain was rusty and could not move smoothly. There must be a way out somewhere. But today, I was too tired, I needed a good sleep.
Listening to the Walkman seemed to prevent the harassment from those voices, but sometimes I still could hear a few clear words, such as, “Spy! Spy!”
I was very tired of their voices. I “said” to them, by thinking in my mind, that I was not interested in being a spy. I told those voices, “Although spying is also a kind of job; same as police, soldier, banker, business owner, computer engineer, accounting, lawyer or even a cleaner. I do not want to be a spy. If you want to employ a spy, you can employ Sandy. She is much better than me.”
Still harassing me, those voices said that the USA Embassy in Thailand knew me too.
I wore earphones and listened to the music when I slept. I felt that my thoughts were untied from those invisible strings. I slept very well at night.
The next morning, after taking a shower, I stood in front of my window and looked out. I was pleased and surprised to find some white pigeons flying in front of my window. There were white pigeons accompanying me even when I lived in Thailand! “These white pigeons are my white angels.” A warm feeling flourished in my heart.
I was in a happy mood and went to have some breakfast. As soon as I came back my room, the reception called me and said that three people, who would take me for the free, one-day sight-seeing tour to the Buddhist temples, were waiting for me downstairs. I changed my clothes and met them in the lobby. Having a look simply at the hotel registration card, they drove me on the way.
Our first stop was a temple which had a 700 year old golden statue of Buddha. The temple was crowded with visitors, so I only could cast an eye over the statues. Being there only about two minutes, I asked them to drive me to the next stop. The second temple had a 300 year old statue of Buddha. It was crowded with visitors too. I did not have the patient to wait the long queue to enter the temple; we went to the third temple which had a 100 year old statue of Buddha. Seeing only a few people there, I took out my shoes and entered the temple, looking carefully at each Buddha statue.
I was only 45kg now; wearing a sky-blue short sleeved shirt, a black skirt, all most everyone thought I was no more than 20 years old.
When I was being driven to my hotel after visiting the temples, one of them suddenly said to me, “Look at that building. That is the USA Embassy in Thailand.” Looking at the building, I saw that it was very heavily guarded. I just gave a wee smile and a gentle nod. Since I started suffering from the harassment of voices and tortures, I talked much less. For a long time, I would only use a slight smile, a gentle nod, or shaking my head instead of speaking. My face was consistently calm and I always displayed graceful manners. I spoke with warm, soft, and gentle voices when I had to speak.
The next morning, I remembered that those voices used to say that the USA Embassy in Thailand knew me. I decided to go to the USA Embassy of Thailand to investigate.
I walked to a main street and called a taxi to the USA Embassy in Thailand. Many fully armed police officers (and soldiers) were outside the Embassy. I went directly to a person in charge. I told him I came to look for someone inside the Embassy. He said that an entry permit was required. He also said. “There is an important meeting in the Embassy today; there is a large attendance at the meeting. You can wait here, if someone comes out from the Embassy, you can ask him”. I sat there and waited for a long time. Actually, I did not know whom I was waiting for. I was waiting for someone who would come to me, liked it used to be in Hong Kong, since I just wanted to see whether those voices were telling the truth.
After one hour, no one came to me. The person in charge said to me, “You can go to the visa office to ask”. He showed me the way to the visa office, and I left. I found an officer at the visa office, and talked to him for a while. He gave me an address and told me to go to another office to look for help. It was already 12pm by the time I got to that second office, and there was only a young lady sitting behind a desk. I told her that I was looking for the manager. She told me that they had gone out for lunch and to come back after 1pm.
I did not want to take lunch, so I just waited until they came back. I gave my writing paper to one of them. They had a look at the paper and said, “We cannot help you with this matter”.
Coming out from that office, I went to the visa office again, and gave my writing paper to a lady and said that I wanted to get a visa to go to the USA. The lady read my paper carefully and finally said that she had to report the matter to the authorities. I asked how long it would take to get the results, and she said that it would take a month. I told her I could not wait that long, said goodbye to her, and left.
I got something to eat and went back to my hotel by taxi. At late afternoon, I went out for a walk, and I indeed felt that I was followed by someone. I walked slowly to a small shop and bought some papers, and then headed back to the hotel. I went to bed very early that evening, wearing earphones and listening to soft music while sleeping.
In the next few days, I had no idea of what I should do. I had no interest in going shopping or sight-seeing. Every day, I ordered food from room service. I stayed in my room, reading books or listening to music.
I wore earphones and listened to the CD player almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even when I slept. The music helped me to sleep well. I felt that those CDs were my closest friends, accompanying me every day. When I was crying, the singers seemed to be crying; when I was happy, the singers seemed to be happy; when I was down, the singers tried to bring me up; when I was anxious, the singers tried to calm me.
When I was listening to the songs and letting my imagination run wild, I would often draw some doodles unconsciously on papers, such as stars, hearts, arrows, my name, and sometimes, houses, cars, and freehand simple stick figures. Even I had not known the meanings of these doodles. I kept all these doodles inside my luggage. I read an article about Ruth Rostron, professional handwriting analyst and vice-chair of the British Institute of Graphologists, who proposed that what you chose to doodle would reveal volumes about your personality and mood.
According to Rostron, drawing a heart indicated you were in love with someone. I was not in love with someone, but I indeed felt the love from God when I suffered horribly from those voices.
Lots of little stars indicated optimism. If you had drawn one big, bold, embellished star, you had a definite goal in your sights. A determined person with a specific goal in mind would draw arrows, subconsciously “aiming” at his or her “target”. I believed that God had already set a goal for me; I was just not very clear what that goal was now.
Doodling your name or initials was common for those who enjoyed being the center of attention. In God’s goal for me, I needed to be the center of attention, but even I was unclear about this at this moment.
Doodling a form of transport, such as a car or train, often indicated a desire to escape from a situation. Doodling houses indicated a need for security. When I stayed in Hong Kong and Thailand, I did feel unsafe and I longed to escape from my very troubling situation.
I also wrote down some aphorisms while reading books, which I thought they encouraged me during such a hard time.
(1) Using modesty maintains the body; using virtue maintains the heart; using benevolence maintains myriads of things; using morals maintains generation by generation.
(2) In adverse circumstances, we should open up; in smooth circumstances, we should restrain; intelligence is like a mirror: happiness, riches and honor erect it; difficulties and hardships will mill it.
(3) Reputation is conspicuous from mortification (humiliation); Moral integrity rises from bearing patiently.
(4) Staying alone, one should be aloof; staying with other people, one should be friendly; when nothing is happening, one should be clear; when something is happening, one should be resolute and decisive; during complacency, one should be cool; during disappointment, one should maintain perfect composure.
(5) Having good morals is a quality like fine gold and precious jade: they must be forged from raging fire.
(6) To establish great success, one must cross very slight ice.
Those voices seemed as if they were coming from a room upstairs since the second week. Once, I went upstairs to find the source of these voices, but I did not find anyone there. I did not suffer any physical symptoms at this point, but I felt sad that those voices were still harassing me.
On April 17, 2002, I woke up early, standing in front of the window for a while, looking up to the clear and cloudless sky, and looking at white pigeons flying in front of my windows. I had a feeling that I must do something to solve my problems.
After breakfast, I sat in the hotel and listened to the Walkman, “One world we can make, all wonders love can bring, ……, We all have one heart.” Listening to this song, I thought, “We only have one earth; we are indeed living in one world. There seems to be so much fighting due to misunderstandings. I guess that those people torturing and harassing me with such cruelty must be a result of a misunderstanding. Indeed, there must be something I can do to try to solve the problem.”
I believed that through love, care, and respect, we could bring some wonders to our earth, just like what the song said.
At this point, I had no contact with anyone. The only group of people who “talked” to me was those voices. I picked up two words from that song “One world”, and “told” them that I would like to initiate a one world love. “One world” was not an organization. We’re all living on the same earth, in “one world”, and we could initiate some good things together. Even if they were spies, they could do some things other than just stealing secrets.
Did not know how long I listened to the songs, let my imagination run wild, and drew some doodles unconsciously on papers, finally, I thought to myself, “I need to pray to God and see if God will tell me something.”
I pulled myself together and looked at the paper I had been drawing on. I had doodled up a full piece of paper with hearts, using a pink pen; and the words, “I love you”, and “looking for love” using a sky-blue pen. I had doodled up a full piece of paper with hands, and the words, “helping hands”. I also had doodled up a full piece of paper with the words, “love” and “we all have one heart!” I remembered that those voices used to say the words, “Spy! Spy!” I also wrote down some words like, “Kid, do not be a spy, you are a normal girl, not a spy.”
I stopped listening to my Walkman, put the doodled papers inside the luggage, and took out the booklet which introduced the Bible. I closed my eyes, knelt down, and held the book in my hands, praying, “I wish God tell me what to do. Please open the booklet together with me, and use the words in the Bible to tell me what I should do.”
I opened the booklet with my eyes closed, and pointed at somewhere of the page with my forefinger. I opened my eyes and found that my finger pointed to a passage, “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28).”
What a surprise! I felt very surprised and happy. God agreed with me on giving them a chance to correct their mistakes of torturing and harassing me, and on initiating a world of love. This time, I felt that I was able to successfully interact and communicate in a good way with God.
I wrote down my initial words, “Love your enemies like you love yourself. Love your neighbors. Let there be no murder, no theft, no adultery, and no violence. Put down your weapons and stop the fighting at night.”
I heard some voices say, “We can join her to initiate a one world love.”
However, I still needed to find some people to help me to stop those voices harassing me. Since those voices started harassing me, I had talked about the technologies to many people. Yet, most of them could not believe me, saying, “You must have a mental problem, we have never heard of such technologies.” I knew most people could not help me to settle my problem. I decided to write to Mr. George W. Bush, the USA President, and Mr. Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary General, and ask them to help me.
I sat at the table and began to write my letters. I only wrote a few words, since I could not remember the spelling of many words. Being constantly tormented by those voices had had a negative impact on my memory. This dismayed me, since I used to having a good memory. When I was in middle school, I was one of few students who could reel off all the historical events in our history book.
I put down my pen and looked for my electronic dictionary. It had disappeared! I turned my luggage upside down, and could not find my electronic dictionary. I then noticed that I had also lost a very expensive Jade Pendant, which I had kept with me for many years. I had no idea when or where my things were stolen out of my suitcase.
After breakfast the next morning, I took a taxi to a post office. Because I suspected I was being followed, I memorized the way my stuff was packed in my luggage before leaving my room.
I sent two letters via Express Mail Service: one to Mr. George W. Bush in Washington, D.C.; and one to Mr. Kofi Annan, in New York City. While I was out, I walked around the streets and bought many ice creams.
As soon as I returned to my room I immediately checked my luggage. The way I had arranged my things in my suitcases had been changed, the Bible booklet was stolen, and there was a Chinese Identification Card in my luggage. Who had made this China Identity Card and put it into my luggage? It seemed that they wanted me to go to China. I could not assume anything in this case. How can I go back to China, when I had not finished my Master’s Degree? I put the ID in an envelope and threw it into my luggage. It seemed clear that one group of people wanted me to go to China; while another group of people was being used to deter me from going to the USA.
I remembered that my agent had told me that New Zealand Immigration had approved my application for Permanent Residence there. I had applied for the New Zealand Permanent Residence before I had applied to the University in Australia for my Master’s Degree. My agent had informed me I had received a positive result for Permanent Residence in New Zealand before I got my student visa for Australia.
I called my agent. He told me that he had sent a letter to me in November 2001, while I was in Australia, but I never received it. My agent faxed me a visa application form. The next day, I went to the New Zealand visa office in Thailand, but they said I could not apply for a visa in Thailand.
I decided I had to go back to Melbourne first. I thought that those people remotely torturing and harassing me with voices must have left Australia by now. Since my health was getting better, I figured I could go back and continue my study.
I bought an air ticket to Melbourne. The flight stopped for a layover at Sydney for a while and then continued on to Melbourne.
When the airplane landed in Melbourne airport at nightfall, I was disheartened and displeased. Following the crowd, I was the last one walking out of the airport. I decided to book a hotel room for fear that Sandy was not at home. As soon as I started pushing the luggage cart toward the taxi station, several people walked up to me, and one of them asked if I wanted to book a hotel room. I had gotten used to booking rooms at the airport, so I gave them a smile and said, “Yes”.
They immediately responded very warmly, “We can help you book a room.”
I did not care if the facilities there were modern and sound. I just needed a place to stay for the night. I asked briefly about the amenities, and said, “I just need to take a good shower and have a good sleep.”
They took my luggage cart immediately and warmly said, “Yes, we have everything you need, and we have a bus to take you to the hotel.”
When I saw the minibus, I felt a bit strange; the windows of the minibus had bars on them. I stopped. While I was hesitating, one of them, who was standing behind me, grabbed my arms and pushed me into the minibus saying, “We must hurry, it is already late.”
He was very tall and fat, and looked really like a butcher. He grabbed me by my shoulders, making me feel like a little chick in his hands. I could not move even a little bit.
Sitting in the minibus, and noticing it running faster, I did not feel the slightest panic. Instead, I felt very calm. I used to pray for death when suffering the horrible pain and other symptoms, so I was not a bit afraid of death. “So many things have happened, what else will happen? Let me just wait and see”, I thought to myself.
After a long drive, the minibus finally stopped in front of a house. They took me inside the house. A middle-aged man received me in a room; his attitude seemed to be easy and gentle. He invited me to have a seat. I kept my polite manner and smiled to him, “Where is my room? I need to take a good shower and have a good sleep.”
He said, “Your room is ready, but we have to check your stuff first.”
I felt a bit nervous when I was thinking about how it was odd that so many groups of people wanted to check my stuff. I calmed myself, smiled at him, and said, “Yes, please feel free to do that.”
They checked my stuff very carefully, and finally they sent me to a room. Though my expectation was not high, I was still surprised with the distinctiveness of the room when I walked in. The thickness of the metal door was at least 40cm, and there was nothing inside the small room except an iron bed which was fixed on the ground. It was definitely beyond my imagination. I took just one look, turned round, and said, “I don’t want to stay in this room.”
The fat and tall guy immediately held my arms, and forced me into the room. I waged a desperate struggle for just a second, when suddenly, I understood that it was in vain.
As soon as they closed the door, the room became extremely quiet. I thought to myself, “Be calm and take things as they come”, as I stood in front of the window. I could see a corner of another room, in which there were two men were sitting, but the nearly 15 centimeters thick glass window and the metal door were soundproof so I could not hear any sound. I could also see a tall pillar, which was fixed with a lot of round shaped roundels, looking like small radars.
Who were they, and why did they lock me up here? After a very short burst of anger, my heart was filled with grief again.
Later, someone sent food to me. I asked for water, and one of them said, “I always drink tap water; you can drink tap water too.”
“You can drink tap water, but I cannot”, I said grimly. Soon, they brought me a bottle of water.
The next day, one middle-aged man came with two very young men, he said to me, “Your visa has been cancelled, but on Monday, you can go to immigration to appeal for your student visa.”
Things had become increasingly complex and hard to fathom. The lady who had stopped me going to the USA and had sent me to Hong Kong had stressed that they would not cancel my student visa if I left Australia, why did this group cancel my student visa?
I opened my mouth, but the words did not come. The middle aged man said, “You don’t know who I am.”
“I don’t know who you are.” I popped out with anger.
“Who are they?!” I thought to myself. I had been dealing with so many people during the past five months, some face to face, some concealed. A strange idea suddenly came upon me: In Chinese opera, when the leading role was go up onto the platform, many extra roles played a short bustling interlude between verses. I actually did not have to know who they were, or why they came to me; what they were doing and what they were going to do. I just regarded them as extra roles, playing short bustling interludes before I was going to play my role in the real life opera. But what was my role in the real life opera? I did not know yet. Maybe God would let me know my life role, in the near future.
I had been suffering from the harassment of the voices and many symptoms for nearly five months now, in constant sorrow and despair through my days. However, I still acted tranquilly, as usual.
Two days later, a few people came to me, saying that they must send me to Thailand. I heaved a sigh secretly, and said nothing. They did not let me go to immigration to appeal for my visa, instead of sending me to Thailand. They held my passport, air-ticket, and boarding pass, and carried my luggage. On the way, a fat and tall man even hooted out, “You must carry your luggage yourself!”
No doubt about it, I was polite, but my voice was low and cold, “If you do not want to carry the luggage, you can throw them away.” He said nothing, and carried my luggage and sent me to the airplane. They did not give me my passport.
This flight seemed very short, the plane landed again. Following the crowd, I was the last one coming out of the airplane. As soon as I walked down the ladder, a few people came to me and said, “We are waiting for you to pick you up.”
A small minibus was stopped beside the plane. They held my passport. I had to follow them to their minibus and the minibus began to roll. They stopped the minibus at the airport building, and brought me out, turning me, left and right. They also forced me to sign some papers. Finally, they sent me to a room where they had locked up many people.
My brain felt rusty: I could not figure out what had just happened, but now, at least, I could have a rest. Looking around the room, I found that it used to be a toilet. Inside the room was a toilet. They locked females up in one room, and males in another. There was only one wide bed in each room for all the people. Doors of these two rooms were always locked, and opened only when new one was brought in and old one was brought out. Several guards sit outside these two rooms, there was another door to the outside.
I had been wearing earphones and listening to the music in the airplane, in the minibus, and now in the room. I kept quiet, thought nothing and worried about nothing. Occasionally, I still could hear those “voices”.
The next day, they did not let me go. I argued with them why they locked me here. None of them gave me an answer. A young female guard became very mean towards me. At one point, she even pushed me with her hands, but a black man who was locked up there too, stood between me and her. Later, when this female guard became mean towards me, the black man always stood between me and her. I was thankful that he was trying to protect me. I wanted to take some photos of the room, but the female guard took my camera and would not return it to me.
I did not want to eat the food they prepared. I started fasting in March of 2002. Luckily, another female guard said that she would help me get vegetables and fruits from outside of this prison. Most of the time, I stayed alone quietly. If other people wanted to talk to me, I smiled at them, politely and gracefully.
A few days later, another black man who was locked up there, said to me, “You must get out of here.”
I asked, “Who is in charge of this place? I don’t know whom I should contact.”
He gave me a telephone card and gave me a telephone number and said, “This is the number of one of Thailand airport immigration officers. You call him with this phone card.”
I asked those young guards, who were in charge of them, and one young guard gave me a telephone number. I was able to make few phone calls.
On May 2, 2002, a lady came to get me. She asked me to pay for an airline ticket from Thailand to Guangzhou, China. Anything to get out of there! A male carried my luggage and took me to the airplane going to Guangzhou. I asked about my camera, but they urged me to embark immediately and did not help me to get my camera back.
This large airplane had very few people on it. Sitting in the airplane, I listened to music. I derided myself, “Now I really feel like a speed-post parcel, but going to China instead of the US.”
They gave me back my passport when the airplane landed at Guangzhou airport. I booked a hotel room there. Since I had not taken a shower for more than a week, my appearance was unseemly in my dirty clothes. After a nice bath, I went to the restaurant to have a good dinner.
After dinner, I made some phone calls from my room. I also made a phone call to Mr. Kofi Annan, because I wished to know whether he had received the letter which I had sent from Thailand, but his office said that he was not in because he had travelled to another country.
Despite the bad news, I had a good sleep that night. The next morning, I went for a walk for a while, and bought some new underwear. I also booked an airline ticket from Guangzhou to Qingdao.
On May 3, 2002, I flew to Qingdao. On the airplane, I was worrying that I was still being harassed by those voices, and there were some people who seemed to be following my tracks. It would be very dangerous for my family members if I went back home now. So, I decided to not go home, but go to Shanghai from Qingdao.
I booked a hotel room from the airport, and took a taxi to the hotel. After taking a shower, I stood in front of the window and watched the landscape. Oh! again, some white pigeons were flying in front of my window.
I stayed in Qingdao for one night. Unfortunately, one of my luggage was stolen, I lost some jewelries, clothes, documents, and that false China Identity Card, which someone had secretly put inside my bag in Thailand. I went to buy a new luggage on May 4, 2002, and flew to Shanghai the same day.
When the airplane landed at Pudong airport, I booked a hotel room at the Shanghai International Convention Center in the airport, as usual. When I arrived at the hotel, I found there was a very important meeting going on. I took a taxi to the Hilton Hotel.
After taking a good bath, I found the Shanghai Yellow Pages to look for a property agent. This agent took me to Wanhangdu Road, to have a look at a vacant apartment there. Because I thought I would stay in Shanghai for a short time, I wanted to stay just anywhere. I did not care about the facilities and the price. I immediately signed the contract with the house owner, and paid one month rent.
I shifted to the apartment on May 6th. Next morning, as soon as I opened the window, I found some white pigeons flying in front of my window. I found myself hooked up with these white pigeons which made me feel that God and angels were with me. I had a good mood and went out to buy a mobile phone and some books, including two books on macroeconomics and microeconomics, as well as an English-Chinese dictionary.
On May 7th, I went to a Chinese post office, and sent a letter, by Express Mail Service, to Mr. Kofi Annan to look for help to settle my problems. I also sent my visa application form for New Zealand by EMS to the immigration agent in New Zealand.
I received a letter from Mr. Kofi Annan’s public officer after 14 days which did not mention that he could help me settle my problem. I also received a positive reply from the immigration agent in New Zealand, asking me to send my passport to the New Zealand Immigration office in Beijing, to get the visa attached. I took a taxi to the post office, and sent my passport to New Zealand Immigration in Beijing immediately.
Before long, I again felt that someone followed my tracks when I went out for a walk. Each time, before I went out, I memorized the arrangement of my things in my luggage. One day, I found that one of the CDs was moved.
The first week I stayed in Shanghai, the voices left me alone. By the second week however, the voices came again, and I started suffering from many symptoms. I seldom came out of my apartment. I called a housekeeping company and asked them to send a cleaner to my house twice a week to help me buy food and daily necessities, went to the post office to send my letters, or clean the house.
The voices became crueler with the harassment. They did not even allow me to sleep at night. I had already understood that my symptoms were because whoever was behind those voices were using high technologies to abuse and torture me.
They sounded as if they had moved to my neighbors’ houses again, like before. I lived on the 17th floor, and the voices sounded as if they were coming from upstairs or from a room of an apartment opposite my building.
I could not prevent those voices from penetrating directly into my brain; even I wore earphones and listened to music 24 hours a day. I heard those voices talking to me along with the music. At first, I suspected that those CDs had their voices recorded on them. So I sent some CDs to the United Nations on July 21, 2002. In my letter accompanying the CDs, I stated that their voices sounded as if they were living in my neighbors’ houses.
I called New Zealand almost every day, urging the immigration agent to get the visa for me as soon as possible. He said that normally it only took a few weeks to get the visa done, but he also felt strange that this time it took such a long time to get the visa. He said that he called almost every day to New Zealand Immigration in Beijing to urge them to issue the visa.
I still tried to read some books despite the horrible sufferings and harassment, some were English books: macro-economics, micro-economics; some Chinese books, such as “Chicken Soup for The Soul” and some Classical Poems; I also learned French from DVD.
One sentence from a book was immediately rooted in my mind: “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight; 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. (Proverbs 3:5-6)”. As soon as I read it, I really got hooked. I wrote down these words on a piece of paper and kept it in my handbag.
I read a story about God that asked three questions: “First Question: Do you pray for money? If you pray for money, I can make your one of the richest people on the earth. Second Question: Do you pray for the power? If you pray for power, I can make you one of the most powerful people on the earth. Third Question: What do you pray for? If you pray for love, I will give all my love to you.”
I gave my answers without even a moment’s hesitation: “I do not pray for money and power, I pray for love.” I understood my life clearly, in the direction of trusting in the lord and doing everything he asked me to do.
A story about a 35 year old father and a 5 year old son, from “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, made a deep impression on me. The father wore a rubber dragon on the collar which was made by his son as a Christmas gift. He said, “Good will is the most important thing!” The rubber dragon was very cheap and of poor workmanship, but it was made with true love. In the father´s eyes, the poor workmanship of the rubber dragon was actually more precious than all money in the national treasury. Nothing was dearer than love!
I regarded the whole world as the father, and regarded myself as the 5 year old son. I should learn from the five year old son and do something with all my love to the whole world. Would it bring a hope for settling my problems by doing something with love?
Those voices had harassed and tortured me for such a long time, and they now laughed at my every word, my every action. Why had these people worked so hard to harm me and bring suffering to my life? They had been waylaying my harmless soul, and swallowing me alive, like the grave. Did I have a problem or did the world have a problem? I was like an injured angel: I suffered because of the horrible sins of mankind.
God had revealed how much he cared about me and loved me with signs, wonders and miracles when I suffered horribly. Those white pigeons had been accompanying me when I stayed in Melbourne, Thailand, Qingdao and Shanghai; they were white angels from God who had been comforting me. And that it was always raining heavily when I suffered a lot and cried; the heavens and God were crying for my suffering. I knew that it rained for me; that the pigeons flew for me. The love from God could light me, even when I lived in this grave. God’s consolation brought joy to my soul.
According to records, from May to July of 2002, precipitation occurred mainly in the south - in the middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River. The maximum resultant flow into the Luo Shan hydrometric station was 89100 cubic meters per second, the third historical record only after 1954 and 1998.
I had known that I was a promise from God on March 2002 in Melbourne. I loved peace and fully supported the zero-tolerance policy for torture, but I had made my promise that I would give those voices a chance to correct their mistakes if they could put down their weapons on time. Meanwhile, I had fasted since March 2002 to show them that I would keep my promise.
I had had an experience of being able to successfully interact and communicate with God by praying and opening the Bible with my eyes closed in Thailand. God had revealed that he agreed to have me initiate world love by opening the Bible for me. Even though I did not have a Bible now in my luggage, the paper was still there, on which I had written down (while in Thailand in April 2002) my first intention from quotations to - “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28)”, and “put down your weapons and stop fighting at night.”
I was not going to establish an organization, but just wished to advocate something good - starting with those people who were involved in monitoring me and harassing me with voices, then to other people who would approach me in the future.
I wrote down another intention: Environmental protection. The world population was rising so quickly that the world had become too crowded. Environmental protection was closely related not only to personal life, but also to the entire human race and the world’s future development. Extensive industrialization, which brought about all the conveniences and facilities we enjoyed today, had depended on the comprehensive exploitation of the earth’s natural resources found in the environment. In other words, to protect the environment was an urgent task. I could say for sure that I had been an environmentally friendly individual since birth. I had formed the good habit of frugality since I was young. I never wore new clothes until I entered university, and I seldom bought new clothes until now. I neither wasted food, nor any piece of draft papers.
I understood that my initiation of one world love was cheap and poor workmanship, like the rubber dragon made by the 5 year old son for his 35 year old father. And so, I believed that God treasured my poor workmanship.
On August 4th, 2002, I received my passport with visa attached from the New Zealand Immigration of Beijing. I called the cleaner to come clean the house, and called the house owner to come to check the house and settle the account. On August 5th, 2002, the cleaner sent me off to the airport. I bought an airline ticket at the airport to Auckland, New Zealand.
References:
[1] Melbourne - Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economy_of_Melbourne#Economy accessed August 19, 2013
Soleilmavis Liu, Author of the book: “Twelve Years in the Grave – Mind Control with Electromagnetic Spectrums, the Invisible Modern Concentration Camp”, is helping the public understand voice-to-skull, and remote electromagnetic mind control technologies. Her book provides the sound facts and evidence about the secret abuse and torture with such technologies.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/soleilmavis
